Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife's been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs into the ER and says his wife's been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones."Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks. "Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?" The doctor sits next to him and says, "Not good news. Your wife's accident resulted in two fractures of her spine.""Oh my God" says Mr. Jones, "what will be her prognosis?" Dr. Smith says "Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed her." Mr. Jones begins to sob. "And you'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia."Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly. "Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll have to diaper her as she'll have no control over her bladder and of course these diapers must be changed at least five times a day." Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs, wails.The doctor continues: "And you'll have to clean up her feces on a regular basis as she'll have no control over her sphincters. Her bowel will engorge whenever and quite often I'm afraid. Of course you must clean her immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she'll be emitting regularly."Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass. Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm just joking with you........... she's dead."
MiSsY ^___~
4:25 PM
lolx... i must be crazy for e past few dayss.. been in search of lame jokes.. haaaa... here you go!!! another one..... recommended by my xue xue.."Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated.""What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement."It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve."But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!""I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor.""Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way."Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me.""Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "shit! THAT'S the word!”
MiSsY ^___~
4:17 PM
hahaaa.... jokes of e day!!!Daddy: "Son, when u r in wrong, must admit & know how to repent.."Son : "Ök, dad... how to???"Daddy : "I wan u to kneel in front of e Guan Yin (Goddess of Mercy).. If she never says "OKAY, U MAY GO OUT & PLAY", u cannot go out & play.. Get it?"Son : "Alright, Dad!!"After daddy came back from lunch, his son is playing outside.. Daddy : "My son, why r u playin here? Who send u to play?"Son : "Guanyin sent me to play , Daddy.. She said okay to më."Daddy : "Are you sure? My son, I dun wan u to lie.. How can Guan yin talks?"Son : "Daddy, pls look at Guan yin's hand. She signalled OKAY to me.."
MiSsY ^___~
3:23 PM
Saturday, July 18, 2009
doin night shift again!!!! yipee!!! yipee!!! I like night shift... hahaaaa.. can earn extra money.. plus can use computer... lolx...
this night I was inspired by my village frens to caused me to surf internet for lame jokes.. true enough, all e short, simple yet funny lame jokes make me laugh for whole night... hahahaaa
I just posted 2 on my blog.... but I really feel like posted some more... here we go!!!
Why was a guy sleep on e floor?
ans: cos e floor is slippery & the guy slipped on the floor
hahaa..... next,
Does everyone lies in this world???
Ans: Yes!! of course... or else tt person wun be able to sleep... cos he must lies on the floor in order to sleep... hahaaaa
next......
How do you make a cat drink??
Ans: throw a mice into the drink
MiSsY ^___~
4:10 AM
Some simple yet funny lame jokes!!!!
hahaaaa....... Lets laugh!!!!
Who Speaks more? Coffee or bread?
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...
....
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.................
Ans: Bread. When bread talks, kopi tiams
lolx.......
one more.... one more.....
What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito?
!!!
!!!!!!
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ans: A mosquito can fly but a fly cant mosquito
MiSsY ^___~
3:58 AM
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Sick today.. MC... 1st day PMS.. So damn pain... Spine pain, tummy pain.... bloatedness.. flatulence... AAArrrrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!! So feel lik going for total hysterectomy... grrrrrrr........
However, temporary reliever is always Ponstan & Famotidine.... hahahaa
Anyway, went to visit Ms Ang today.. my secondary school teacher.. Thou She never teaches me before, but she is my dearest teacher, ms Lim's sister. You would always see them together in school... they r very close to each other... Very shocking!!! A bit stunned when I first saw her.. She is totally in different state.. Probably she is still alert like wat Ms Lim said.. however her responsivenes, her motor skill, to me, a health care personal, is totally zero....
Life is always unpredictable.. You will never know what will happen e next seconds... Nevertheless, tomorrow...
I just shared with my xue xue, my point of view bout life outside Dover Park Hospice... If ever I am the one lying down on the bed, instead of Ms Ang, I will request for DO NOT RESUSCITATE me status in hospital... I do not wish to stay alive under the machines' help.... There is no quality of life at all.. I wish to die naturally, in my ancestor's way.... Technology is a sin!!!! Hence, they improve people's life, they also changed ppl's mind set... Think of the way ur Nanny, or even ur great-grandmother, told you bout their childhood.. Ppl are so innocent... SIMPLICITY!!!! Tts e word to describe.... Now, human beings are in every second FEAR!!! Lets duntalk about other example... talk bout e most recent H1N1 & Michael Jackson's heart attack... Best example to describe my current feeling..... Life!!!! Human beings!!! They are just as fragile as an ant....
MiSsY ^___~
11:25 PM
