Saturday, March 15, 2008
feeling very tired!! my muscle is telling me tt they r getting old.. But sorry darling!! u cant stop working.. sorry to ve stretched u so much.. but i ve no choice..
I was wondering!! is this going to be my life??? work work work!!! i really wanna be e same as my cousins.. free from all worries.. go travel for free.. but from where shall I find her type of courage and spirit?? I dunno.. Sigh!!! Ppl said M gettin skinnier and malnutrition.. one way to advise myself.. i like to be skinny and slim gal..
How I wish I can go far from here.. to another place where no one actually recognize me.. start my life a new.. Together wif my love.. To start everything with an empty brain!!! MIGRATE!!! Tts e word... to where? Queensland?? yup!!! really wish to go there since young.. also Easter Island.. Gosh!!! I must be dreaming... Slap!!! Wake up, U gal!!! Reality is cruel!!! I hate it!!
The fact is tt:
1. I m poor..
2. I m a cow..
3. I love to smile, But dunno how bitter is my heart!!
4. I love my mum
5. I love my BF!!
6. I cant let go my family..
7. It is my family who r pushin me to the edge!!
8. THEY ARE MY FAMILY.. who share e same blood as me.. who derived from e same dna!!!
M I really going to be like this till old age??
"My Valentine".. Yes!! I like this song.. I like e meaning.. I like every word in this song.. But sometimes I do feel tt it kills me too.. Think m too emotional.. THEY GOTTEN MY HEART.. MY LOVE!!! So, they are my worry too..
Shanel : U r crazy, Gusni!! U r mad over marriage..
Gusni : Yes, I am!!! But I gotta wait for him.. he has got his education to complete.. his career to be build before me..
Shanel : Its a bit unfair!! U gotta wait for him.. and youth is precious..
The word "YOUTH" strikes me.. yes!! my youth is gone.. But, on second thought, My youth is not wasted on him.. rather than my youth is wasted on my family..
To wait for him is just an excuse.. E real and cruel truth is tt I gotta climb out of my family financial rubbish first before my own happiness.. it sounds angry.. but, NO!!! I hate my destiny.. Fate!!!! Grrrr.....
He s right!!! We can forget abt marriage.. abt future.. as long as e iron ball is still clinging on my feet... M confused!!! its complicated.. Sigh!!!!
MiSsY ^___~
4:37 PM
